I have so much going on in life, still, that I don't even have time to sit down and write anymore. And I mean, truly write. Writing is so therapeutic for me, especially on this blog. I also really love the response I get from the blog posts... Because most of the time, they really resonate with a group of people. And that makes my heart sing so much!
But with law school, the new house, client work and just day-to-day business stuff, something's gotta give. I held (and still hold) stubbornly to everything, because I just want to be able to do more. All the time. I feel such guilt when I'm not bettering myself for my business, or writing something revolutionary, or moving the legacy forward in a big way. I feel like everything is just meh and I have no direction... And I felt myself losing heart in everything I did. Whether it was with client work or my dream house planning, I just wanted everything to be over and done with. Hah, so much for that legacy and heart focus right?
Then, I felt all sorts of bad for my clients. Did they know they were getting a designer whose heart wasn't into it at all? Who was just churning out designs for the sake of it and no longer going back to the heart and core of their business? Trying to make things work for them and staying on top of deadlines? I'm sure part of them did.
[inlinetweet prefix="" tweeter="thepetiteco" suffix=""]In the midst of trying to juggle everything, I did nothing.[/inlinetweet] I want to say I did nothing well, but the truth is, I did nothing. Or close to nothing, for that matter.
My productivity and efficiency seriously plummeted, my work was dissatisfactory and I was getting increasingly frustrated that I couldn't understand what my clients wanted. I wasn't putting my heart into writing blog posts or newsletters, but churning them out as I needed to, every Wednesday. And I lost tons of subscribers. Cleared out tons more (and I didn't even have a big list to start with!). Basically, my life was a huge, big mess. I didn't know what I was supposed to do and what the Trello boards were for, anymore. I avoided my email like the plague and only responded to them when I absolutely couldn't avoid it any longer.
BAD. It was really, really bad.
I just needed it all to stop.
Last week, I reluctantly started picking up the pieces of this entire mess that was July and August. After a call with my mentor yesterday, I felt even more relieved. Surprise surprise? I didn't have to do everything... In fact, I don't want to do anything if it wasn't with heart. And this is not an excuse to be lazy (I've given plenty to procrastinate)... But if my heart wasn't in it, I wasn't doing anything at all.
This week, I printed out the Day Designer sheets that were so generously given out by Whitney English on the DD site. I started planning out the rest of September and scheduled in time to do my Powersheets. I needed this. I need some Lara Casey-style boost in my life. I needed to look at the people who inspired me and kept me going, and then make plans for the rest of the year. But not big plans, mind you. Small little ones. Ones like cutting out everything that really didn't matter right now.
If my heart wasn't in my newsletter, I would write less. If I enjoyed writing blog posts more, then blog posts were in my priority list. The rest can fall beside, for now. I didn't have to do anything more when I already couldn't handle everything now. I just needed to do less, and with more heart. So my new priorities list looks like this for the rest of the year:
- Blog Posts
- Client Work
- Law School
Everything else isn't on it for now. No marketing strategy. No sales funnel. No social media work. Just getting sales, doing work, and then focusing on the things that matter.
When God called me to do legacy work, He told me how big and important legacy really was. And how I was to align my business with it... Legacy requires a whole lotta heart. And I was losing that along the way of trying to be like everyone else, and chasing the money (you can bet this gets worse as the renovation costs pile up!). But today, it's time to clear the clutter of life and go back to what really matters... And do that with heart.
Do what you're called to do, and only that, with a whole lotta heart. The rest will fall into place. The rest is just clutter. And the clearer you keep your to-do plate, the more you can do with less.
That's a big 2015 lesson right there for me!