The last two weeks have been crazy. In fact the last few months haven't been the easiest -- as you already know from previous posts. But the week before the last, I fell ill, which didn't help my productivity at all. Then last and this week, my grandma fell into a critical state, which meant that plans got jumbled up and nothing could stay certain. And I hate this feeling -- I hate that I cannot commit to my dates, as I know how important deadlines are in a designer / client relationship. I know that they affect trust levels and keep work strong. But these few weeks I've had to shift deadlines and not make things happen. I've been lethargic and procrastinating and lazy and uninspired.
And remember when I said I fall into these lulls? Seasons of extreme productivity then seasons of none? And how I've started seeing them as rest?
I say that, but I still feel guilt. Guilt towards my family, and towards my wonderful, wonderful clients who have entrusted me with their life's work. With the very thing that earns them money and reflects their vision and legacy. It is such an honor, and sometimes I forget it. Sometimes I don't do as well as these things happen in life. And I feel irresponsible. Undeserving. Like I'm bad at what I do and I'm not anything.
So from time to time, I've to remind myself to lean into my role. To embrace that I am a deeply flawed business owner, but that I am that... A business owner. A CEO. I do what I do, the way I do it, because I was placed to make this business work and for good reason. No one else might do it this way. I might not be as prolific with my blog posts, or have as many webinar attendees as I'd like. I may not have huge lists and talk about manifestation and money. But I know that I am aligned to my legacy and I need to own my role. I need to take on fully the responsibility and weight of being a CEO and lean into the imperfection. So that I grow. So that I move towards the legacy I was called to leave.
All these things that circulate online? The myriad of Periscopes and SnapChats and webinars and email campaigns and whatnot? They're great. The business coaches are wonderful. The courses? Amazing stuff. Really cool.
[inlinetweet prefix="" tweeter="thepetiteco" suffix=""]But at the end of the day, if you don't lean into who and what you actually are, and own that -- knowing that your way is okay, you will always be ridden with unworthiness and guilt.[/inlinetweet]
Your way is OKAY. Your way is okay.
It's time to take back control, realign to legacy and do things your way. It may be different. Unconventional. Weird. Scary, maybe. Not as efficient or productive. Things don't happen as quickly......... That's okay.
Your way, is okay.